Investing in Real Estate When Your Spouse (and Family) Aren't on Board

So you just attended a great 3-day seminar on investing in real estate. The speaker was knowledgeable, informative, and motivating. You aren’t very happy with your current job, and you want to make a major change in your life.

You go home Sunday night after the event and you spring on your spouse (and possibly kids) that you are going into real estate investing! The next day you share it with other family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

Say what, now?

You’re blown away by the fact that they aren’t nearly as enthusiastic as you are. As a matter of fact, most have serious doubts and concerns. Many try to dissuade you.
Most surprising to you is that the person who expresses the most doubt and concern is the very person that you thought would be the most supportive–your significant other!

There Are Going to Be Naysayers

This has happened to many of us. It’s be a bit surprising and confusing if you aren’t prepared for it.
You have to understand that the ones closest to you likely want to protect you. Those outside of the circle, such as coworkers, may just be a bit jealous.
Ironically, you’re getting into real estate investing in order to realize some hopes and dreams for your loved ones. It seems like such a Catch-22!
Learned from my own personal experience and the experiences of my associates, here are 10 tips to help you ease the way to real estate success.

Understand That Not Everyone Will Be on Board At First

This is new territory and most of us tend to resist change. Changes can be uncomfortable, especially major ones. Most folks don’t allow themselves to release the “inner entrepreneur” within them. That’s the difference between you and the 9-to-5 folks.

Get Educated

A two or three day seminar is a good start, but won’t even begin to give you enough knowledge to survive in the real estate game. Continue your education.
Real estate clubs, realty companies, and title companies all offer free or low-priced courses to help you move ahead. They want you to succeed and do business with them. If funds permit, a mentor or real estate coach can save you a lot of money and anguish in the long run.

Start Small. Baby Steps!

This is seriously new territory for you and your loved ones. Ease your way into investing, but don’t lose your motivation along the way.

Don’t Quit Your Job Yet

It can be tempting to quit your job and jump right into real estate. In fact, you may hear some of the so-called “experts” advising you to do that. Just remember, your first priority is to preserve your cash flow, so you can pay your bills and meet obligations–not to mention keeping your health insurance and other benefits.

Introduce Them to Other Real Estate Folks

Remember the classes and events we suggested you attend under “Get Educated”? See if your spouse will attend some of these functions with you. It will ease their concerns and raise their comfort level considerably!

Involve Them

If you are persistent and thus successful, there will come a time where they’ll want to become involved. Allow them to be part of your business (if they wish to be) and contribute to its success.

Earn a Small Check

It’s amazing how people can come around after just one or two small checks. A strategy such as Wholesaling, when done correctly can yield checks of two or three thousand dollars and upwards with little risk.
It helps prepare you for things like Rehabbing, where the rewards are larger, but so is the risk if you don’t know what you are doing.

Reward Yourself and Your Family

It’s important to reward yourself with each success along the way. It continues to motivate you, but more importantly, it shows your family the rewards to be gained from real estate investing. If it’s a small check, maybe a celebration dinner is in order.
As you gain knowledge and experience and earn bigger paychecks, the rewards will increase also.


If you really think about it, most of the problems that arise within personal and business relationships come about as a result of no (or improper) communications. Make sure you let your family know what you’re doing along the way. You don’t have to go into great detail, but let them know what is currently happening.

Be Available

Make sure you aren’t working a full-time job and doing real estate and not allowing any time for your loved ones. It can happen.

Develop good time management skills and set aside time each week to be with family.
When my wife and I first started investing in real estate, we both owned a recreation business where 60+ hours a week was standard.
Using good time management skills, we were able to work our business, get educated in real estate, network, and also invest in real estate.
We set aside every Sunday after 3pm for a family dinner. It’s a tradition we still hold onto, even now.

Oh, Well…

Just because your family, friends, and others don’t hold a ticker tape parade for you when you decide to start investing in real estate, it’s no reason to give up your hopes and dreams. There will be naysayers, no matter how successful you become.
Take the high road and be gracious, but don’t discuss your real estate business in much detail. Humility can be a great quality, when used properly. Best of luck in your endeavors in real estate!

By Frank Pulley

My company and I buy and sell real estate in Colorado and work with people in foreclosure in Colorado, Southern California and Las Vegas NV.